What NOT to ask in that law firm or clerkship interview.

It is getting to be law firm interview season and the folks over at the Volokh Conspiracy have the following suggestions for the questions not to ask when the interviewer asks if you have any questions:

* "How would you describe the atmosphere here?— Is it more like a labor camp or a slave ship?"

* "I heard there was this guy who came here and only billed like three hours a week. They say it took the firm two years to kick him out, and they gave him a nice bonus to leave, too. Is that true?"

* "Is it as bad as they say?"

* "How many partners here are still on their first wives?"

* "Is the firm's suite at Wrigley or Comiskey?"

* "Will I be allowed in the same room as a client? How about if there's a client walking down the hall, can I take a look-see?"

* Look at them quizzically. Then lean back, look up into the air, stroke your chin, and pause for a long time. Then sigh deeply. Repeat until they interrupt.

* "Say I have a "friend" who's embezzling money from the law firm where he's a summer associate. Is that so bad?"

* "What's the absolute fewest number of hours an associate can work, and still not get fired?"

* "Is that your wife, or your grandmother?"

* "Is that your wife, or your granddaughter?"

* "How much errors and omissions coverage do you have?"

* "Am I expected to check my Blackberry at 3:15 a.m.?"

* "There's not a drug test or anything, is there?"

Here are a couple of additional examples of questions not to ask. These were actually asked of me and friends of mine while interviewing prospective hires:

* "Will I get indoor parking for my Segway?"

* "How big would my office be in square feet?"

* "Tell me about yourself?"

* "Would you happen to have a resume that I can look over?"

* "How will my taking this job change your life?"

* "Confidentially, who is your greatest enemy within the firm?"

* "Is that your wife? She's hot!!!"

Now good luck to all you 3Ls out there.