For the lawyer who has everything but a life.

Here is just the gift for the new associate or the anal retentive partner. This watch will remind you to bill every hour of every day.

I know I've been a slacker lately...

I realize that lately I have not been blogging at nearly the level that I have in the past. My day job has kept me very busy since the first of the year and if there is any light at the end of the tunnel, it is just as likely to be a train. In addition, I am also working on a couple of extracurricular projects. Although this blog doesn't have many readers, you are faithful indeed and deserve better.

I won't go so far to go on any formal hiatus and I will drop in when I can but I expect it to get worse before it gets better.

When Good Samaritans go bad.

Some people apparently have a mixed set of moral values. Tell authorities that you have recovered someone's lost property and then decide to keep it for yourself.

Huh?

Somebody flunked Traffic Engineering 101.

Robotic slime?

Shades of Mystery Science Theater 3000.

From New Scientist.

David Hannum is still right!

David Hannum observed in connection with P.T. Barnum that "there is a sucker born every minute." There are, have been, and will continue to be, innumerable examples that corroborate his observation.

The latest verification of Hannum's theorum is Internet movie rental powerhouse, Netflix's settlement of a class action suit over "throttling" its customers.

Netflix, advertises that for a monthly membership fee of $17.99, you can rent as many movies as you want to each month. Such a deal! Of course under this business model, Netflix makes more money the less you actually request their DVD's.

So what Netflix didn't tell its customers until a recent settlement of a class action suit, is that if you actually take advantage of their offer to the point that a "fairness algorithm" in their computer determines that Netflix's profits are no longer maximized, they deliberately slow down deliveries of future DVDs. The actual code words to legitimize this which Netflix has now added to its Terms of Service is that they "give priority to those members who receive the fewest DVDs through our service."

Misleading advertising that lulls customers into thinking that they are getting more than is being delivered is certainly not new, for example Verizon Wireless has deliberately crippled all of the Bluetooth enabled phones that they sell in order to force customers to pay Verizon for extra features that the phone you are buying would otherwise provide free.

I guess what surprises me but shouldn't, is that companies are increasingly unrepentant when they are caught at this stuff because the customers keep coming anyway.

*** Update - In the "great minds think alike" tradition, Daniel Solove at Concurring Opinions has also posted here on the Netflix throttling policy.

42 Meme Tag

Ken at CrimLaw has tagged me with this so I suppose I have to respond before I can settle down to the Super Bowl. Here goes:

Four jobs I've had:
YMCA Camp Counselor
Machine shop drill press operator
Truck driver
Bartender


Four movies I can watch over and over:
Animal House
Independence Day
O Brother, Where Art Thou
National Treasure

Four places I've lived:
Coronado, CA
Pine Valley, CA
Cleveland, OH
York, PA

Four TV shows I like:
Countdown
NCIS
24
Monk

Four places I’ve vacationed:
Yellowstone Park
Dubrovnik, Yugoslovia
St. Petersburg, Russia
Stowe, VT

Four of my favorite foods:
Country ham biscuits
5-alarm chili
Roast turkey with all the trimmings
Chocolate-bourbon pecan pie

Four websites I visit daily:
How Appealing
Autoblog
Gizmodo
The Trivia Hound

Four places I'd rather be:
Sailing
Sipping a libation on the porch of the Grand Hotel on Mackinac Island
Sneaking through the woods, paintball gun in hand
Biking around Bermuda

Four bloggers I'm tagging:
Gavin
Steve
Julie
The Movie Snob

Judge Leads Mutiny Protest.

Manchester (England) Judge Fletcher Christian Alan Berg led a sucessful passenger mutiny protest over the size of the refund Cunard Lines offered passengers on the Queen Mary 2 when a damaged prop forced cancellation of three ports of call.

Judge Berg insisted on a full refund for all passengers instead of the 50% refund offerred and got it when he pointed out that "We have seen a lot of sea for the last 12 days. If I wanted to make a sea voyage on a liner to Rio I would have booked one - but I booked a cruise."

"Inherently the definition of a cruise is that one stops at different ports."

I suspect he must be a pretty good judge.

Getting the Best from Your Lawyer - British Style

Gavin at Diary of a Criminal Solicitor notes that the British government's Department of Constitutional Affairs has published a press release containing its "GETTING THE BEST FROM YOUR LAWYER: 7 STEPS TO A BETTER DEAL".

He has also posted here the answers his clients want to hear to the questions posed by the DCA:

1. What will the legal adviser do for me?

Anything I ask him. Hopefully he will get me out of the Police Station on bail, but if he can't do that he should be able to get me bail at the Magistrates Court. He can then defend me with whatever rubbish I tell him so that I can be found not guilty despite the usually compelling evidence that suggests I am guilty.

2. How much will this legal adviser cost me compared with others?

Cost? What's that? I thought that was all done on legal aid. I'm on benefits you know.

3. What do I get for my money?

Usually fags and booze, occasionally I'll get some coke - and if things are really bad I might get some crack with my cash. Usually I don't need money because shoplifting is easy enough, and hey, what you can take for free doesn't cost me any money.

4. How often has the legal adviser handled this type of work?

Too many times, in fact I am wondering why he is always down the Police Station or Magistrates Court - he doesn't seem to know any other kind of work. When will he become a barrister?

5. How long will it take for the transaction to be completed?

Transaction? What? A drug deal - no, not me mate.

6. What can I do if something goes wrong, or I am not satisfied with the service provided?

I'll transfer if I don't get what I want. If I don't get bail, or I don't get some fags or tobacco off my brief I might go elsewhere to another firm. Getting a conviction or being sent down is not a problem, I just need my tobacco.

7. Have I got a good deal?

As long as I don't get convicted of the offence that I have been charged with I will have got a result, even if it just being convicted of a lesser offence.

It's not so different on this side of the pond.

Why you should carefully plan your getaway.

Sometimes there is a downside to not getting caught by police.